Here’s Part 1.

Last Saturday I did more yard work.

First I pulled some weeds, trimmed some hedges, and did some edging. Then I mowed the lawn. Because of the recent rains the grass had moisture. Not fun. But it was going to rain again that evening so the grass had to be cut.

In wasn’t that hot, in the 80s and yet as I reached the half way point I saw spots before my eyes and felt a little light-headed. So I went inside where I sat down to cool off and drink a class of water.

Then I finished the mowing the lawn. But I didn’t have the strength empty the lawn bag.

Instead I went inside, had some Gatorade, and laid down on the cool hardwood floor of the kitchen where I had some strange epiphanies:

  1. I’m out of shape.
  2. You know that the whole thing about knights not being able to move well because their armor was so heavy? Well, that is mostly a myth. Ceremonial armor was heavy, as was armor in the renaissance specifically made for jousting. But the knights who couldn’t move around in their armor must have been the one who were out of shape, too.
  3. Why do Windows 10 updates take so long and hijack my computer?
  4. Remember that scene from Ghostbusters (1984, thank you) where they were climbing those stairs? And they were tired? Remember that?
  5.  The Advanced Dungeons & Dragons Dungeon Master’s Guide has 0-level sedentary males having only 1-4 hit points and -2 combat ability. And how do any of the 0-level character survive in DCC RPG?
  6. If they ever combine parkour and lawn mowing, count me out.
  7. Is the Mengele Effect, the Mandela Effect, or a Parallel Universe?

 

And I don’t believe in parallel universes. If you think you’re going to a different dimension you’re really ending up in another part of our universe.

Eventually, somehow, some way… I did get up off the floor.

But I didn’t want to.